


Something Akin To Falling In Love

by ishipthemsogoddamnhard



Series: Tumblr Giveaway Fics [6]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Forgiveness, Healing, M/M, Murder Husbands, Post-Fall (Hannibal), Post-Season/Series 03, mentions of Abigail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 08:56:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12317796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishipthemsogoddamnhard/pseuds/ishipthemsogoddamnhard
Summary: After they are on the mend, though he has finally accepted his new life, Will is having a hard time dealing with one thing - Abigail's absence. Hannibal tries his best to make it OK so as not to lose Will again.





	Something Akin To Falling In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vafaill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vafaill/gifts).



> Winner of 2nd prize in my 1k follower giveaway (sergeantabraham on Tumblr) wanted some early post-fall healing.
> 
> I know you all know how much I hate Abigail being dead so this was the result. I am so sorry for the feels in this but it does get better...
> 
> Beta read by the wonderful purplesocrates <3

Hannibal had begun to notice it. The way Will sometimes couldn’t watch even an advert if the girl was young and dark haired. The way he sometimes stood in the kitchen and lost himself in thought, shadows of pain on his face. The way he had to walk away when the gas station clerk had ‘Abi’ etched into her orange name tag. In the early days, it had been about survival only. The slow knitting together of skin and sleeping away the pain. Now they were no longer in immediate danger of dying, there were other wounds emerging. 

Will was curled in a large chair, wrapped in a blanket and sipping whiskey - something else Hannibal had noticed was becoming a habit. 

“Did you bring her here too?” It was no more than a hoarse whisper, but they both heard it ricochet through the silence over the crackle of the fire. Hannibal knew he meant Abigail, since he had already told him that night, that she had been resident at the cliff house. He inclined his head, lips pressed together, suspecting Will hadn’t finished and indeed he wasn’t. “Did she sit in this chair? Look out that window? Sleep in my bed?” Will’s voice cracked and he didn’t go on.

“No.” Hannibal answered simply. It was the truth - this place was too remote even for that purpose back then. He suspected the question was just an opener for a conversation that had been brewing for days. 

Will nodded slowly, processing this. Her presence here was coming only from him. Again. “I never really thought about her anymore, not after you gave yourself up. I was still...barely alive when they had the funeral.” Will paused for another swig of the amber alcohol to ignore the question of who would have actually attended it. Hannibal clasped his hands, following his painful train of thought but wanting to let him talk. “Aside from the anniversary…” Will sighed. “I closed the door on it, but here with you she’s all I can see.”

“You didn’t allow yourself to grieve for her.” Hannibal suggested, trying to remain the impartial Doctor while feeling the unfamiliar crush of regret more keenly than he ever had. “For yourself, even perhaps for me, but you buried her loss under everything.” 

Will eyed him for the first time, having previously been addressing his glass as he offloaded. “She’s the only reason I came looking for you in Palermo.” He said, it was only partially the truth but Will was looking for any way to hurt Hannibal. “Her...voice, or presence or whatever...she told me we had to find you, but by the time I did, I had to accept she was gone. It took me so fucking long to do that.” He frowned. 

Hannibal could not deny his plan to have them all here together had been a solid one for months, but he had never been one to dwell on the past any more than was absolutely necessary. Abigail’s death was logical to Hannibal at the time, and she lived so happily in his memory palace that it didn’t have to slice into his soul if he didn’t want it to. Will was different, he needed this.

“We cannot turn back time, Will.” Hannibal said gently but from the look Will shot him, this was not nearly as comforting as it should have been.

“Not this time. You made sure of that.” Will finished his drink, stood and stalked off to bed. 

Hannibal bowed his head, contemplative and alone. No, not this time. There was more to say but neither one was ready to say it.

Two weeks passed.

It was simply not in Hannibal’s nature to beg and cajole and make long winded excuses for his transgressions. It was not in Will’s nature to ask for them, and so things did not improve. Hannibal was a psychiatrist and he knew what Will needed better than Will probably did. What had Bedelia said about forgiveness and falling in love?

Will felt he wanted to punish Hannibal, though he really just wanted to punish death. The more he thought about how she should be there with them, how she would have been twenty-two on that last birthday, the more it fuelled his impotent rage and stubborn, intermittent silence. There _was_ no putting this teacup back together and he was at a loss. Hannibal and he transcended all this, he knew that, but forgiveness had always been a double edged sword with them. Almost literally. The threat of things going that way again, loomed larger every day...

“Will, please come with me.” Hannibal laid a disarmingly gentle hand on his shoulder one morning after breakfast. Will saw he had his coat on and looked bemused.

“Where?” Will asked warily. Maybe Hannibal had had enough and was going to kill him. Maybe that was ok.

“Just get in the car.” Hannibal said and Will, resigned but knowing he could handle himself, shrugged and grabbed his own jacket from the hook. 

*

Hannibal looked over to see that Will, sleep deprived and possibly mildly hungover, had fallen asleep with the lull of the vehicle. It was actually perfect, since he wouldn’t know where they were going, and he willed the younger man to stay that way...

“Will.” Hannibal’s voice cut through dreams of boats bobbing on the sea. He rubbed his face and looked around. Will could only see a path and some trees, but noted the weather was a little brighter here, and that it was just after one in the afternoon. 

“Jesus, were you driving all that time?” Will asked as he got out. 

“You seemed like you needed to rest.” Hannibal began to move down the path and Will automatically followed. As the path crested the hill and began to descend, Will realised. This was a cemetery. He stopped, heart lurching.

“Hannibal...wh-”

“Hush, Will, I think this will be good for both of us.” He looked back with a plea in his eyes. Will reluctantly nodded and carried on. They both had to figure this out, he supposed. 

Evidently this was Minnesota. The headstone was simple - dark, polished and next to her mother’s. The elaborate bouquet, mostly white with streaks of yellow, was alarmingly fresh. 

“Peace lilies, of course, white roses as is proper and jasmine flowers since people in the Philippines believe those to symbolise eternal love.” Hannibal explained right on cue and Will turned to him, mouth agape.

“You did this?” He asked, eyes stinging. “But....”

“I did it for you.” Hannibal interrupted, fathomless eyes not leaving the beautiful petals glowing in the spring sun. Will turned back to look too. Hannibal gave her this from him. He gave her this _for_ him. It would never bring her back but knowing she was here in this lovely place, resting in peace with his eternal love. It seemed to Will a much kinder world than the one they left behind, or the one they now faced. Will would always feel her absence more than Hannibal, but she would always be with them where she belonged. 

Will reached out a tentative hand and threaded it slowly through Hannibal’s. There was more to say but neither one was ready to say it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was cathartic enough...I cried real tears over this one xxx


End file.
